'I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm bright, exotic, versatile - but people always seem to choose you over me. They're interested initially and then it's like, as soon as they see you, I lose my appeal. I thought I was sweet.'
Biscuit looked at Banana knowingly and replied. 'You're just not sweet enough, my curvy friend. I trigger emotion in people...'
At one stage I was an overweight child. Sugary tea and biscuits were used as a comforter from a young age. If I was feeling sad, unwell or wanted a quick snack, the custard creams, digestives, bourbons would present themselves next to a warm mug of brown liquid for dunking. In later life, biscuits would be one of my trigger foods. Bought as a 'treat' but devoured in minutes so that I could commence dealing with the guilt of practically inhaling them. Sugar was my vice - cheap to access, momentarily creating pleasure and then hours of disappointment and self-disgust.
Chemically, sugar stimulates the reward centre of the body releasing dopamine and serotonin, increases hunger and activates the desire for more sugar....but you don't need science to say so, you already know it. The craving, the longing for satisfaction...
Over-eating or other addictive behaviours can be formed as a method to temporarily numb or distract from pain. If a behaviour is linked to a feeling of comfort or pleasure, an individual will consistently return to that action for its soothing properties. As soon as I admitted this, my life began to change.
What are you trying to suppress? How can you tend to this part of you in a genuinely loving and caring way?
Breaking the cycle will free you. It can be done. Awareness is the first step. Then action. Activate your power of choice and demonstration of love for yourself.
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